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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543254">Bitter Feelings</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerevasunclair1965/pseuds/yerevasunclair1965'>yerevasunclair1965</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, F/M, Lady of Winterfell, Lord of Winterfell, Some Humor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:00:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>593</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23543254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yerevasunclair1965/pseuds/yerevasunclair1965</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Catelyn reflects on her bitter feelings toward Jon Snow and Ned</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Catelyn Stark/Ned Stark, Husband/Wife - Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>A Song Of Ice And Fire and Game Of Thrones, Game of Thrones</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bitter Feelings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>All characters are owned by GRRM :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She once had promised to herself and to the gods before that she would be a mother to Jon Snow, this motherless and innocent child with Ned's reflection. Yet even after that child survived the illness, her bitter feelings still remained. Her jealousy towards his unknown mother and her anger towards Ned grew even stronger over the years. The only way she knew to resolve her frustrations and that vexing guilt over failing to keep her promise was to send him away. Haplessly, she fails at doing that.</p>
<p>
  <em>I just want him to be out of sight...Why won't he allow Jon Snow to be fostered somewhere else? Does he still love that woman more than me after all these years that anything I say concerning his bastard infuriates him so?<em></em></em>
</p>
<p>Catelyn turns her back to him and moves farther away, leaving a wider distance in between them that was satisfying even if it left her colder than ever. She pulls the furs up to her neck, praying it would suffice without needing his warmth. She doesn’t feel Ned move and he still lies on his back without saying a word. He had told her he would stay in Winterfell, that he’d never permit Jon Snow to grow without a father to teach him what the values of their ancestry have passed unto them and that they shall never argue about this again.</p>
<p>
  <em>He’ll never send his bastard away, the only one who reminds him of that unfrogettable love. He so stubbornly keeps his promise to that woman to be a devoted father to their son despite of my indignation, of the dangers he might do to our family, what we both have built. No matter how well i rule his castle or succeed in giving him many children, will she always be more worthy to him than me?<em></em></em>
</p>
<p>She tries to shudder them out of her head again before it brings her to tears. She had learned to be contented that Ned continues not to share some parts of his soul and heart. Those parts she still yearns to know and proudly own. It pains her so, though she should outmatch the inferiority she believes of herself.</p>
<p>
  <em>But then again, we have done so much for each other, not solidly grounded on just duty and honor. We’ve done all out of love because we both need each other’s love. I’m certain of that.<em></em></em>
</p>
<p>Catelyn controls herself, slowly realizing that while their resentment and insecurities can never be absent or be settled either alone or together, she will still endeavor not to turn them into unbreakable walls between her and Ned. She knows in her heart that his endeavors were in making amends for his faults, in being a better man. And for that, she chooses to love him more.</p>
<p>She turns her back, now desperate to close that space between them. She sees Ned peacefully asleep, motionless. Her lips twitch into a smile and so she inches closer. When her body finally came in contact with his, he immediately awakens to kiss her and lock her into safety with his arms.</p>
<p>
  <em>Gods forgive me</em></p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em>she prays,</em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I could never come to love his bastard son. But if this is his sole way of being a father to him then i’ll abide. That’s the least that I can do.<em></em></em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
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    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>After her prayer she hugs Ned even tighter. She tells him softly while he’s not listening about her hopes, that they can truly mold a stronger marriage that  stands against the tests of time.</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <em></em>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
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</p>
<p>
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    <em></em>
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</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hope u guys appreciate it and thanks for the kudos on my other ones! comments are welcome :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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